XPost: alt.usenet.kooks, alt.fan.karl-malden.nose, alt.conspiracy   
   XPost: alt.rock-n-roll.metal.death   
   From: nojunk@yahoo.com   
      
   HELLO ALL<   
      
      
   I AM a SPAMMER who e-mails people saying 'I am emailing you because we   
   have been in touch before.'   
      
   But that's because I am not worried about spam. Hey it's part of my   
   busines! That's why I don't mind if I get spammed myself.   
      
   amok-promotions@cosmic-sound.com   
      
   "90% Black Wind of Death" wrote:   
   >   
   > Net "Personality" Jason Gortician today announced his retirement from   
   > Usenet. He is currently negotiating with three publishing houses   
   > regarding the release of his first full-length book "Growing Up   
   > Gortician". Here is a brief excerpt:   
   >   
   > My Life with the Reptilians   
   > Jason Gortician   
   > (3-29-04)   
   >   
   > You'll love this. I've dropped acid several hundred times, and it   
   > eventually brought on a few bouts of schizophrenia. I used to attribute   
   > every bizarre occurrence to coincidence or schizophrenia. In retrospect,   
   > something more was at work. I must confess to reading David Icke for fun.   
   >   
   > Early on, an officer who arrested me on a nonsense charge was soon   
   > thereafter killed by two drunk driving students from Louisiana School for   
   > the Deaf. This was the beginning of a long, strange chain of events.   
   >   
   > It's sort of hard to begin to explain schizophrenia. There are a number   
   > of aspects I've experienced. For one, I actually experienced a lot of   
   > books I've read, and movies I've seen. It's sort of a Walter Mitty on   
   > meth. Fun, actually, if it never gets out of hand. Vonnegut, Dick,   
   > Heinlein, King. Each of these writers describes certain aspects, or   
   > influenced my thoughts to a degree.   
   >   
   > Some ten years later, I was arrested for sleepwalking across campus   
   > dressed only in a pair of blue Adidas shorts. I had been tripping for a   
   > week or so, at Mardi gras and the honors convention in New Orleans. I had   
   > my first weird "Stephen King" incident, in which I met a New Orleans   
   > professor who looked an awful lot like a very tall King.   
   >   
   > So I was accosted as I was walking across campus. Rightly so, I suppose.   
   > But two campus cops were dispatched to talk to me. They say I cursed at   
   > someone as I was walking? Quite possibly, as I was essentially   
   > unconscious.   
   >   
   > I more or less began to wake up when confronted by these two police. But   
   > I got a very uncool vibe from the two of them, you might say. Nothing   
   > came to mind so much as a UFO comic I had read in the 70s as a child. It   
   > said something to the effect that the people (a pair?) who approached Lot   
   > for his daughters were in fact aliens. So I guess that stuck with me. I   
   > must point out that I've never considered myself at all religious or even   
   > spiritual.   
   >   
   > At any rate, one had glasses and one didn't, and they struck me as quite   
   > odd. A struggle and macing ensued. I spent a few weeks in the local   
   > mental ward, and then jail.   
   >   
   > I made a joke about it shortly after I began to recover from a major   
   > freak-out: "They say I bit one cop and punched another one in the   
   > stomach, but I distinctly remember turning into a dinosaur-type thing and   
   > eating them."   
   >   
   > Ha ha.   
   >   
   > As a side-note, the university barred me from school, but persuaded a   
   > neighbor to attest to a few laughable complaints, in order to evict us   
   > from campus. Almost at the very time I was in the administration offices   
   > answering these false charges, the girl's father, who happened to live a   
   > few houses down from our own residence in that town, had his hand badly   
   > smashed, and his St. Bernard of ten years was shot and killed.   
   >   
   > The encounter I had upon the day of our arrival back home was an odd one   
   > indeed. When I had left school, I had also left work. My boss was a   
   > female, and while I don't want to say she had reptilian qualities, she   
   > certainly had unique characteristics. At any rate, while speaking to the   
   > girl's father, and learning he was injured, etc., I "saw" my boss's   
   > persona in another person, a female, who was accompanying him. My ex-   
   > boss, through her, essentially told me to take care of myself. It was   
   > odd, seeing one person's essence inside another in that manner, with such   
   > vivid clarity. Voice, intonation, body gestures, etc. were all that of   
   > another person entirely. This was not the only time this sort of thing   
   > happened.   
   >   
   > So, the very night we moved back to that house, a girl was murdered in   
   > the apartments on campus. I, in fact, slept alone at the house that   
   > night. Again, I didn't make much of a note of it, but I had a really   
   > vivid dream that night. It was essentially a nightmare, involving a   
   > reptilian Stephen King the size and dimension of a refrigerator. But I   
   > didn't pay much attention to that. Because when I went back to campus a   
   > few days later, we were pulled over and questioned in relation to the   
   > campus murder. Thus marking the first time I was loosely associated with   
   > what was termed at the time, a "serial killing".   
   >   
   > Here, I guess, is the kicker. At one point, for a few split-seconds, I   
   > saw in the mirror that I no longer looked like myself, but like a   
   > reptilian version of my ex-boss, replete with yellow saurian eyes.   
   >   
   > Hmmm. I didn't really think it was a big deal, at the time. When we did   
   > return to campus, I remember locking eyes with a black female, out of a   
   > sizable crowd. She had cat or lizard eyes, and showed me her fangs. This   
   > sort of thing is par for the course for schizophrenia, as far as I can   
   > tell. How else can I explain it all to myself?   
   >   
   > Acute paranoid schizophrenia, induced by LSD abuse. Either that or I am a   
   > shape-shifting reptilian myself.   
   >   
   > So, just as a closer, I then took a trip to Florida. After circumstances   
   > led me to, if I recall, 33rd and Mason?, I actually obtained a bricklayer   
   > job a few days later. As it turns out, I had left my lights on at my   
   > first day of work. A telephone lineman walked by, and a few minutes later   
   > returned. He informed me lights were on, and when I thanked him, he said   
   > "Anything for you, buddy", in a voice that was chillingly that of Stephen   
   > King's, especially his one-liners that he gives in many cameos in his own   
   > movies.   
   >   
   > Like I said, it's weird and hard to explain. I'm fine now, of course. No   
   > more psychedelics for me. Strange coincidences? Not around here. No cases   
   > of ESP, evidence of mutation. No recent contrails over the town of   
   > Ruston, Louisiana. Just an average nuclear family, attending college. Oh   
   > me? I'm, erm, a sci-fi writer. --Jason   
   >   
   > --   
   > Troll my message board and I will beat your ass   
   > http://www.latech.edu/tech/orgs/klpi/mboard/phpBB2/   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)